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Journal Entry: April 15, 2016

Can’t I just get a break?

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Have you ever had one of those moments where you just threw up your hands and said: “Can’t I just get a break for a moment in life?”

Yah, I’m having one of those moments that so far has lasted six months.

I mean, it’s BIG stuff, not little drama moments, that is truly testing my trust in God but is ultimately making my spiritual, mental, and physical self grow stronger. And it’s also making me break down in quiet 60-second sobs often. There is no room in life to pity myself or situation any more than that.

Honestly, I don’t even know where to begin. Chronologically seems too predictable and insulting to you, my dear reader, however the journey and current moment of struggle needs some context so how about I just lay it all out for you in a short version, then we can talk about each challenging obstacle individually. Sound good?

Very well then.

Six months ago today, I was the passenger in a terrible car accident that put me in the hospital for two weeks and a wheelchair for three months. Two weeks after I had been walking unassisted again, my fiancé left me (two weeks before our original wedding date) and four days after that I found out I was pregnant. I had lost all of my contract jobs because of the accident and found myself having to scramble to get back up on my own two feet again, literally. Over the next two months I applied for, and hustled for jobs. I was hired at a prestigious college out of New York to teach a photography class at their Miami location, only yesterday – two weeks before classes were to start – they contact me to let me know the spring class was canceled and we might be able to work together in the fall.

I have no job, no income, and today I got a call from my credit card insurance company that they have to recall their last two months payments as I was approved to go back to work, and although I lost my contract jobs they do not cover self employment scenarios. So they are calling back $250 in payments from the bank, and I have -$10 in checking. I feel utterly scared.

Can’t i just get a break?

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Portrait Photographer, Writer, and Consultant LaRae Lobdell is an environmental portrait photographer, host, and instructor with over 20 years of experience photographing, directing, producing exhibits, and speaking in the photography industry. She focuses on providing artists, actors, models, and companies with lifestyle and conceptual imagery for promotional use and branding. Her approach is very contemporary, her work has a timeless elegance, and she represents the grace, distinction, and style that is possible in photography. Her curriculum vitae includes 21 photography exhibits of her own work, the curation of 15 exhibits for other artists’ and museums, the production of 13 private and community events, and two year’s experience as director of one of Seattle’s largest art walks. Her images have been published in The Huffington Post, Broadway World, Yale University Magazine, Martha Stewart Weddings Magazine, and even aired on the Colbert Report. LaRae’s position as a lead host for online educational giants such as CreativeLive and Polaroid University gave her the unique opportunity as one of an elite group of professionals to connect a live global audience to top renowned professionals in photography, video, design, business, audio, music, software design, productivity, and lifestyle. She brought her network to BLACKRAPID as their Culture Liaison, facilitating close working relationships between influencers and organizations for promotional sales and marketing. Grateful to be a stay-at-home mom while balancing a rewarding career in the photography industry, this proud single mom enjoys a nomadic traveling lifestyle between Seattle and the Florida Keys with her daughter, Emerson.

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